I'm on the outside looking in.

Sometimes I wonder what is the point of society. This rule that you have to fit in otherwise people avoid you like the plague.

It hurts. I don't consider myself a cruel person. I don't like it when people are left out, because I know how it feels.

I try to love myself, and nothing helps cause I want friends. But if you ever seen the movie where the popular girls although popular have no true friends. Imagine not being popular and having no friends. A loner that wants the social interaction that tries hard to get people to see me.

I hate that even when there are people around me, I feel alone.

That has even started with my boyfriend, he tries so hard to please me and to make me happy. Sometimes he succeeds. But I still feel constantly alone.

I even notice when people do choose to be around me is when there is no one better around them to be with.

I am invisible.

R.I.P Marcus

To sum this man up in just a few words is difficult if not close to impossible ( this paper being the "Few words"):

E. Marcus Smith was the most inspiring person that I have ever met. There were many times when he would fix a problem that others couldn't mend. He was full of magic and he could create and know how to build things that look and feel real. A genius in all of his desired fields (which was anything he wanted to do). To have known this man; is to have been blessed.

Although, Students and Teachers/Staff are not allowed to be friends. In the theatre department it is difficult to do because we work hard and often spend a lot more time together than Teachers/Staff and Students do in any other field. Which means bonds that could last a lifetime form.

He was my Santa Claus (and he looked like Santa), but he was a man that I would dearly want to call as a grandfather figure in my life. His passing was a big blow and has effected many, if not all, of us involved in theatre. In the Theatre Department, he was one of the vital parts. Now that he is gone there is a space there that cannot be filled by just anyone.

I know I am not the only one that feels that way.It still effects me now and I know it will effect me in future. He is sorely missed.

V

A little girl who wishes her mentor could come back and teach her more of, and about, the technical side of theatre.