Almost done with This semester

Yeah one more final, I'll be done... It's a math final, right now I am watching Fraggle Rock. I hope I passed all my theatre class with A's. Waiting for my boyfriend, just wanted to update a little.

I am broke trying to get a job schedule is erratic and I am tired and I want to read.

Geez

Okay wow. Long time no blog. Anyways I have been pretty busy with this new play 'Come Blow your Horn' I am House manager but I have been helping with everything.

As much as I could. Now I can't wait until January but first I need to get through finals. Before I start thinking of the future.

Sometimes I wish I could hope and it would come true but I can't do that. I just wouldn't be satisfied. I rather earn my keep then have it given to me. Why? Well maybe because I struggle so much I wouldn't want it to be given freely. I WANT THE FIGHT!

Ugh, before I get too philosophical as I know I do when I stare into space. Not space as in space for rent.. more like my brain contains an inner universe that I alone control and manipulate. With its own laws. I know. I know.. I am getting philosophical again, but with much ado I will go back to watching 'Californication' and procrastinating on what I must do... because well you know me. I AM JUST UP TO THE BRIM WITH FREE TIME! *rolls eyes* Don't indulge me.

In Class.

I like this class, I am talking about scene study. I am assigned to do a monologue. Which I will do, Phoebe from 'As you like it'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
((SILVIUS and PHOEBE enter.))

PHOEBE
I would not be thy executioner.
I fly thee, for I would not injure thee.
Thou tell’st me there is murder in mine eye.
'Tis pretty, sure, and very probable
That eyes, that are the frail’st and softest things,
Who shut their coward gates on atomies,
Should be called tyrants, butchers, murderers.
Now I do frown on thee with all my heart,
And if mine eyes can wound, now let them kill thee.
Now counterfeit to swoon, why, now fall down;
Or if thou canst not, Oh, for shame, for shame,
Lie not, to say mine eyes are murderers.
Now show the wound mine eye hath made in thee.
Scratch thee but with a pin, and there remains
Some scar of it. Lean upon a rush,
The cicatrice and capable impressure
Thy palm some moment keeps. But now mine eyes,
Which I have darted at thee, hurt thee not.
Nor, I am sure, there is no force in eyes
That can do hurt.
~~~~~

PHOEBE
I don’t want to be your executioner: I’m trying to avoid you so that I won’t hurt you. You tell me my eyes are murderous—that’s a very pretty sentiment, and oh-so-probable, that my frail, soft eyes (which are so cowardly that they close their gates against dust) are tyrants, butchers, and murderers. I’m frowning at you with all my might right now. If my eyes can injure, let them kill you now. Go ahead. Faint, fall down—if you don’t, then you’re lying about my eyes being murderers. Come on, show me the wound that my eyes have caused. If you get scratched with a pin, it leaves a scar; even if you lean on a rush, it leaves an impression on your palm. But my eyes, which I’ve darted at you, haven’t even left a mark. Now I am sure that eyes can’t hurt a person.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Mrreow. :)

I can't wait till play directing.. Well first makeup then Play directing.

Thanksgiving

I love my boyfriend's family. I couldn't love them less. My family we try to be strong in the family, and we do have strong ties. But the amount of how many we have in comparison, I believe I have more family. But he has more immediate family. I have my cousins and grandparents. He has a larger amount of the ones that are around. His godfather and god mother were even there.


Although I know I have more family, he has more immediate family. I am kind of jealous, they knew each others names even. It makes me happy to see that his grandparents speak perfect english. So my bad spanish can take a rest, although I can understand them (like my grandparents) perfectly.

I just love Slushie.

As you all know..

I have a blog for rpgs, it is true I am trying to start one table top rpg of Hunters. Of which I cannot wait till I start but the thing is dming it.. will be difficult.


I saw this Television show, Sanctuary. It's a really good show. Gives me a whole bunch of ideas.

It's one of those things that I will be able to use against the players.

>) Because I am soooo devilishly evil.

I need to do some more research which I will inevitably get the chance to. FOR NOW..


I shall die of cramps.

MUHAWHAHAHA

In retrospect, Theatre Students are usually the most dedicated.

Fact: The Theatre itself is a very dangerous place.

Fact: Theatre people wear their heart on their sleeve.

Fact: In Theatre it is very likely you will be from morning to late at night in the theatre, breaks are permitted but even then Theatre people will only be outside not wanting to stay too far away from their home... I mean... Theatre.

Myth: Theatre People are dramatic. Fact: Some Theatre People are the worse you can ever meet(in terms of friendships).

Fact: Some Theatre People are the Greatest you can ever meet(in terms of friendships).

Fact: Favoritism does exist.

Fact: Favoritism doesn't exist.

Myth: The crew doesn't do anything.

Fact: Some Actors do become Divas.

Myth: Most Actors don't appreciate Crew.

Fact: Most Actors are in crew.

Myth: Actors get paid more than crew.

Fact: At one point or another you would have heard, met or have worked with or studied from Prof.D.Mello

Fact: Theatre students are afraid of disappointing D.Mello

Oh dear..

I have seemed to be plagued with a curse of not updating my blog D<

I am so sorry. I will give you a brief update.

My dad went to Mississippi for work.

I miss him lots.

Slushie and I almost broke up, but not an angry fight more like a- We love each other but we may not be ready at the present time. But luckily he stopped me from leaving him.... I felt so bad that I hurt him... I do.. but I can't seem to change.

Maybe I don't want to change.

Some shit happened between me and two of my friends.. I thought that they didn't care, they just can't see through my acting skills.

We fixed it.

I love Selene

I want to go to Victoria's secret to buy a good bra.

My boobs grew this week? ( IDK)

I'm addicted to Café World on FB.

Also, I am a shopaholic.

I'm broke.

I paid for my classes.

The wednesday of this week I was in the theatre from 10:30AM- 7:09PM, talk about dedication.

I want to buy a certain bracelet that I love!!!! But I think it would be so much better ( because i think I would lose it, break it, never wear it.. etc.)... if I gave it to DMELLO <3

I have to shop with Slushie more, he stops my spending habits a lot. He knows me too well.

I LOVE SLUSHIE!


AND my dad is coming home today :) He's been gone for a month.. I've been heartbroken with missing him soooo much.. Yes.. HEART BROKEN!
But I must, absolutely must SAY. I did do a great HARLEY QUINN for Spooky Nights.

Friday at Friday's

I love the restaurant, Friday's. It's my favorite. Or one of them. It's not the greatest. But for drinks,appetizers and dessert, it is pretty good. (I only really like one kind of main course there, the salmon honey glazed ?) At least compared to chili's it's sooooo much better.


But this happened a while ago. and by while I mean... 10/4/09 (6:45pm when I began typing it) Reason why I am writing about it is because well, I had this draft here. It's a rather funny story. But I shall make it short and sweet.

Selene waited so long at Friday's, In the end Georgie didn't go and neither did Aphrodite... SO I rushed over as quickly as I could. I felt so bad... I didn't know we would take that long.. I got there, me and Selene got a table but then we decided to sit by the bar to get half price.. LOL, let me tell you Selene was asked by our waitress how old she was.. I knew immediately that it was because someone wanted to buy her a drink. But Selene said, "I'm 18- I mean 19.. 19." Eventually, the "icebreaker" came.

IceBreaker: Hello ladies.
Selene and I: Hi~
IceBreaker: Now Ladies, there are two gentlemen that want to buy you two a drink or a dessert. Now how old are you two ladies?
Selene and I: . . .19
(me I wanted to tell him I had a boyfriend at that moment, but it wasn't the right moment)
IceBreaker: Okay than forget that I offered anything alcoholic, but the dessert is still on the table.
Me: Actually we already ordered our dessert.
IceBreaker: Well let them pay for it.
Me: I have a boyfriend.
IceBreaker: Oh.. well that's going to be hard. Now we have two guys, one is going to be left out... Now what to figure out.
Me: Just tell them that we're lesbians.
(Selene's eyes went wide, as I asked for her hand)
IceBreaker: Woah, quick thinking... now that might just do it.
( Selene and I went around holding hands and feeding each other dessert the rest of the night and pretending we were lesbian)

What a great night :)

Enjoyed my day.

I've spent money again. I am a big spender, I enjoyed my day with Selene. She and I have always spent a good time together. I feel like she is a very kind person. At least to me. I know that this is small, in contrast to my other blogged posts but there isn't much to write. I had fun with her, and I hope she had fun with me.

Oh and Selene.. MY TUMMY IS SOOOOO FULL!!! Ugh.. taco bell.. damn you and your deliciousness...


But all in all, Selene would know what I am referencing in this convo.. LOOK at our email about the friendship thing.. I rather not post it here but.. as long as you and I know. We are enlightened.

Oh my goodness...

What a streak of luck... or divinity. Okay okay, let me start from the beginning.

OKay Georgie and I were walking my dog, my Slushie was at work and I decided to do some school work with her. See I am in her class only for her, I am not actually taking it. Now, in a sense, I do have to do my best although it is not for a grade. It's for practice. As an actor I can't get enough of practice.

The thing is, we were running lines paying attention to little else, except walking my dog.. I have to tell you. We were distracted only for my dog.SO after we walked the dog came home talked about what we needed for the scene. Little else mattered... Or so I knew... Cause when I got into my car to drop Georgie off. Halfway to another main street. I made a very dangerous u-turn.... Like I didn't care if there were cars or anything I MADE that U-turn. I believe it was clear but I have no idea.... I just WENT. The reason: I LOST MY NECKLACE THAT SLUSHIE GAVE ME :( Now as soon as I got home, I looked through my room, walked with Georgie the whole area we walked. I was sooo upset.. I kept having a feeling it was at the smoothie place or it's parking lot. I felt all the sorrow one could feel, I wasn't thinking of the future. I wanted to cry. But I couldn't take Georgie to the smoothie place again and make her search with me.. it wasn't fair to her. So I took her too the college we both go to so she can get into her car and drive home. She knew how bad I felt, she's really my soul twin.

I kept apologizing to Slushie, because I felt so bad. I love Him and everything he gives me I hold dear. You can only imagine how I felt when I lost my necklace. Now the next morning my gut was telling me ( more like a feeling guided me..I just felt hollow in my stomach) to go back to the smoothie place.. or call them first and check while you are on the way. I did call them. They didn't have it or find it on their floor. I knew one last place to look... The parking lot.

I prayed to my goddess and god that somehow it would still be there. I don't think I had to promise anything, but I knew I would have to be kinder.. I believe I have to be kinder to my mother... who isn't all there. Now enough about her... I was about to turn in to park at the same parking space I parked in. . . . . . . I had my face plastered to the window so I immediately saw it. My feeling was so powerful that it struck me I almost left my car in drive.. so I put it in park ran out picked it up ran back inside and checked it.. It looked bent but I don't care, you can't notice. The only thing is it does have a few scratches on the front from the rough pavement maybe someone parked over it or something. I am so happy no one took it.

I didn't curse it.... I actually said, well if anyone does take it. I hope it fills their life with happiness. Like it did mine...

OH BOY WAS I RIGHT!!!
I was soooo happy. Relieved. It's like when you have to pee really badly, but you have been holding it in for a long while.... You can't run or you will pee. You have to try to walk quickly cause it is almost there you don't care to lock the door even in a public stall you get the closest on to the door you still check for toilet seat cleanliness while you are unzipping unbuckling and or unbuttoning. Then you pull down your pants and pee like a racehorse and .... you let out that moan of relief.... I believe that was how relieved I was... That physical need.

Yes.

That need.

I am so glad I have my necklace back, I am not wearing it at the moment. I am waiting till we make it able to wear... The silk rope we need to burn the knot..and I am going to buy a long chain for it.


Oh I am so happy. My love and I are smiling... I love it...


YES!!!

Grimm's Complete Fairy Tales

I have fully immersed myself with these children stories. Oh I fell in love with them before but now I have my own and am reading them chronologically. Even though there is no real order. I just like it better that way. So as I must comment. I still have not received my blue scarf. I also lost my necklace today, the one that my boyfriend bought me. I felt very depressed. I couldn't do anything. I feel horrible about it. He says not to worry, but I love him and in turn love every gift he gets me... Stupid rope.. it was always untying itself in inopportune moments.

:) Good, no rocky boat

Yeah, for a while... My boyfriend and I were in very rocky waters. It's good that we aren't now, I don't think I would be happy if we were. Since well, you can only guess a fragment of how much I love him. Unless you are in love with someone right now... Well.. you would be able to guess a tinier bit more I believe. I realized that no relationship is perfect, that you have to work on/at it.

Anyways, he can't go to the cast party. So I will be taking Selene, she is so nice to me. But she won't take anyones crap I bet, like if I was mean and stuff. But poor Georgie, she has an all nighter to do. She will go for an hour but she has to leave after that to the all nighter. Sometimes, I wish I could pause time. But that would fuck up our axis... among other things like our rotation, and all the clocks in the world would be minutes late. Cast party= <3


I cannot wait till later, why? well... Callbacks are today and I will find out if I get called back. I know I won't because..... I effed up on my monologue. Oh but Selene auditioned... However, there will always be this fear I might lose her. Cause well... I am an oddball, Georgie is an oddball, Aphrodite is an oddball. The oddballs are the outcasts of the theatre group(but the good kind of outcasts), we aren't the regular kind. We are also outcasts of "normal" society, because we are "Drama" Kids. Georgie is a techie, Aphrodite and I are actors, and Selene will hopefully join us. But we don't want to lose her. Mainly because there are factions within factions. If you catch my drift, I don't do that.... but not everybody loves like I do. I have a heart for almost everyone I meet. They can abuse it, use it, or whatever with it. But I do have a heart for them. That is why I say 'I love you' to them. If they break it... maybe they might get that heart back or maybe it is irreparable. But I love them, each and everyone of them. In their own way... Sometimes I break down though, and think I am not loved. But why wouldn't they love me?

I know they do, even if they don't show it.


Hope my boyfriend doesn't get jealous. He owns the whole heart. There are just many factions within it. ;)

Two words... Math Test

Okay I am nervous about this math test.. Why? Cause I got a B on the first one. An F on the second. I need an A on this one. I also need to memorize my monologue. As well as get some art supplies for my mask. I am just so tired though. I haven't slept that much lately. So being perpetually tiresome isn't good. Especially when I rather lay down in bed and sleep than study. Which I need to do right now.

I must say my goodbyes. I will let you know what grade I get.

Unless it's another F. Than I might as well die. This is the second time I am taking this class. I don't need an F.

A Deeper Appreciation

Yes, it is true. I have a deeper appreciation for crew and all sorts of tech. As an actor, I always have been very courteous, and loving of anyone who made me up or dressed me or did anything involving the show.

Now, I see (since I am crewing the show) how much of a relief I am to anyone that crews. I am sweet. Most actors are not, I do not like that I do not get the same treatment of how I treat my crew from the actors. Most of them I know very well. Why must actors have diva modes? I do not understand this. I never had diva mode, unless I was pretending to. But damn it.

I hate being a bitch. It sucks cause I can be sweet most of the time. But if I do one mean thing I would be labeled a bitch.


I do not want to be a bitch, why? No one likes a bitch. . . I don't like a bitch.

So excuse me, I am sorry if I get frustrated and sometimes I want to cry because I just feel like bonking them on the head and then... taking their place in the show.

But I don't know the lines.. I know some.. but not all of them. I also wouldn't want to do that because well... I rather not.
I love acting, but this isn't a play for me. I could, but it would suck with me in it.

SO I am just venting. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Otherwise, dead actors might be posted on the newspaper.. Just kidding... maybe.

Late night

Okay, so I am helping with this current play and it's been tough on everybody. The cast, the crew, My boyfriend.
But I just want you to have a little update. Lately, I feel as if I am losing touch. I use to be so on top of my projects for anything theatre. Now I am just letting it ebb away and I cannot let that happen. Why? well, if I do. I can say good bye scholarship. I think I am one of the many that likes to receive money I don't have.

My boyfriend, I feel bad for him. He says he is second to theatre from the amount of time I spend there compared to with him. But I cannot help that. I will definitely try to give him some more time. But I can only do so much. Luckily, I listen and I can take this and I have enough patience for him. He doesn't know it, but he will eventually.

He got me something very lovely. A pretty necklace that I will wear all the time.

Oh yeah, the long awaited Chili's Story.

Alright, let me tell you number one. I HATE CHILI'S. Always have and always will. Their food is dirty, their bathrooms are a nightmare and I am no neat freak. If a neat freak was in there they would have died from far more than just suicide. It would have been a homicide because the bathroom killed them. But we went to an "okay" Chili's. I didn't check the bathroom this time. Well because. I felt that if I did, I would hate that one as well.

Now, first off, one of my lovely ladies had to go home because her boyfriend came back for a few days. She is in a long distance relationship, it started before it was long distance and they have been dating for a very long time before he had to go to college there. So as I speak to you now, do not disrespect her relationship. She had to go to his side, he was in town no one can blame her. Even though we don't want to share her.

But my two remaining ladies were still by my side. Selene and Aphrodite. They are by far the sexiest mama-sitas around. They got a table while I had to walk the one that had to leave to her car. Don't worry I had my wrench to protect myself. So my ladies were seated next to the wall, it doesn't take much to tell you that we didn't get the best service. I know, I know. Not the best, means he was an a-hole and gave all the sex-ay ladies elsewhere much better service. I am no waitress, though I don't mind getting a job that I have to waitress, but I know the whole service system. I am not the best tipper, but I am not a cheapskate either. I would have given a better tip if I got better service. I demand better service! Of course after those hoochi women left that was when we got it. I must say, the only thing I enjoy about it is that I learned from Selene that I can order whatever I want. If I don't like an ingredient I can change it. She is by far a great teacher in cuisine.

Also, while we were waiting for our order. Aphrodite was having problems with her man. Perfectly understandable, every couple has problems. We just get through them, and hope they are fixed. That sparked a conversation with Selene because of her ex. You may think "Oh no, not one of those man-hating girls night out stories." No this is not one of them, this is the empowerment of a single lady finally breaking free of a relationship that was killing her. This abuse that she endured and did not see would one day take it's toll. I never told her, because well. Whatever makes her happy, makes me happy. So I conveniently for her sake did not look at the flaws. Why? Cause in my head, I seriously thought that whatever mess was going to happen. They could fix it. Together. But he- pardon my asterisks- F**ked up. Not only with his relationship with her, but his friendship with me. MOST of his FRIENDSHIPS in fact. His word, is shit in my book. His excuses are lies.

I won't state what he did. I know what he did and I don't have to share it with a third party, to gain sympathy for her or for anyone to be empathetic. But to seriously say one fact, anything he says cannot be trusted. I've known that for a while. I met Selene through him, she is by far one of my greatest friends. I fell in love (friendship wise) with her, she is a great person and she was a great girlfriend to him. I could give examples but... That would mean a longer post. Let us just continue on with the story...

Mainly that was how our night went on, we talked about the men in our lives. Well They talked. I just listened, I have no problems with Slushie. But by far he is the best boyfriend I have had in my life. I don't want to give that up, and I know Selene and Aphrodite know that he makes me happy too.

Okay but through this. One of the funniest moments was this.. I had ordered a drink. I tried it, and it was good but it had strawberry seeds in it. So every time I took a sip, I had a very uncomfortable feeling of strawberry seeds rushing into my mouth. So I decided not to drink anymore, instead Selene let me drink some of hers and when a refill came for her she got the new one, I got what was left of the old one. I took my old drink and you know those little cardboard boxes that has four sides and no top or bottom. I had placed it over the disgusting liquid and kept it there. When I finished the drink Selene had given me he came back and asked if I wanted a refill, I said no and if I could have a different drink. like the drink Selene was having. He complied. So that was good, when it came to pay we got separate checks. Selene and I, gave two bucks each. Aphrodite did not like his service at all. So she gave nothing. In total, He received $4.00 in tip. Pretty good considering his awful service. But I must say, that overall. I enjoy my ladies company. I do not have that many women in my life. I do prefer women friends, although often, I scare them away.

Having male friends is so much easier to handle. Especially since I've been raised in my adolescent to now years by a male. I never had proper female influence. I am a man in a woman's body? But not transsexual, I could never say I am.Would never want to insult those that are transgendered. but I have placed myself as if I had a category it would be, a bisexual "straight acting-gay" male trapped in a woman's body. Which I think he does enjoy. However, I do not believe that I am a man trapped in a woman's body. Maybe I have multiple personalities within me and I do not allow them to come to surface. It's plausible but not possible. I would know. Wouldn't I?

So yes. Here I am, Vanilla. The happy gaystraightbisexual? man in woman's body ;) As a straight woman, I am all good.

So..

This morning I woke up. I am not a very morning person but I woke up and then I woke my daddy up. Well let me tell you this. I was tired. DIdn't sleep till 1:10 (or more, more likely) Then I woke up at 5:15 and woke my daddy up Let me tell you something... WOW. I woke him up, which also woke up my mom.. Hell broke loose.

We like to let her sleep in, but see they locked the door and the lock pick was no where in sight. My mom is paranoid so.. anyways. I knocked on the door, (which if you know the way my house is set up..You would understand that I could pick that door. without seeing anything if they were.) Instead I just knocked till my mother, woke my dad up. Because she is the light sleep from how paranoid she is. Like any sound, movement anything. it's a wonder how I can sneak past her without her knowing.

Yes I know. Weird huh? Look long story short, when I say hell broke loose. WWIII happened and you didn't know it. ( believe we are at a much larger number in my house. But eh..)


Now, I am trying to get a hold of my dad. But he is busy at work so I understand, I am thinking about calling him again because I need to ask him if I could go out tonight. Mind You. I am 19. I might be old enough to decide this, but I have to ask him. I can't NOT ask him. I just have to. If he says no. It's no, and I don't go. He says yes, (which I hope) then I go. But He always makes me feel guilty about it. like I am going to stay awake till you come home. :/


I HATE when he does that. If I don't get to go to the party at least I get to go to TGIF. It's ladies night. I still need to write about Chili's.

For my Followers.

Sorry, that I have been kind of M.I.A at the moment.
Just with school and school..Yeah, that is correct right now I don't have a job. I am not fired or anything so I am good. I would look for a job, but I have almost no time between School and social time and I am not willing to give up social time. Social time is my time. For friends and for le boyfriend.

Which le boyfriend thinks, I get out of my school responsibilities to hang out with my friends more than I would with him.
So not true, but I understand why he thinks that. I agree that it seems that way, but I am a nice person. When someone needs a ride, I give it to them. Although he shouldn't complain cause when he did that, I knew that he was angry so I immediately gave up all my hours that I could have received that day and went to him. WHy did I do a stupid thing like that?(you may be wondering and if you aren't...good)
Cause I love him. When he gets upset or angry I am the only person that can make him feel better.If I cause him the agony. I definitely need to be there. I cannot let any other girl move in on my man. I have too perfect a man.
Sorry Ladies, but the most perfect man is my man.

Now for friends, I don't usually do things like quit hours.I quit more hours for my boyfriend than my friends. But when I do quit hours, it's either to eat or to give them a ride somewhere. Which I believe . Aphrodite . needed it yesterday. Her acrylics had to come off. Because, well, she is in the show.

Now, reason why I am writing now. Is because well, I can't write later tonight.. or maybe I can. Depends on the day. I still have to tell you about Girls' Night out at chile's. It's one of those things. That I have to say because well.... It was a blast!!!!
We are going to have another this friday.

:) well Tah-Tah for now.
BTW Love you . Selene . ;) You know who you guys are.

R.I.P 7

Yes, it is true. He has passed away. He didn't die of disease or natural means. He was hit by a car. I cannot tell you how much I have cried or will cry. But he, even though it was such a short time, will be with me forever. I feel as if there is so much I could have done to prevent this. But I didn't and I didn't take so many pictures of him as I did his sister but I was going to. See, I was going to neuter him but he died before that could happen. I have pictures of him and his sister and him alone. He was a cheetah, and his sister a lioness. I am going to try to keep Ferrari with me as long as I can.

How I wish that we could have had more time.... How I wish whoever had hit him with their car Dies..... Because their lives don't matter to me. If they cared I would have cared. But that is not the case, I hope that my dear 7 is in a better place. TIme heals all wounds, and when I am dead it will heal my bleeding everything. Because I never heal. I stitch up, so no one sees my pain. I numb it away, so others won't know what I feel.


Seven, I hope that you didn't feel any pain. I hope it was instant and right now you are somewhere playing catnip. My beloved Seven. I hope you are well.

Cat Houdini

Ferrari, officially dubbed the 'Intellectual'. She has been able to escape the kitty collars that we give her. At least she likes me, I would hate to be on her bad side. Not that it would effect me if she did, cause I could battle the best. But she's cute, so I like her. She has a personality to her. Glad that my Miracle found her and adopted her, even though Harley the first cat to be found by my baby and adopted doesn't like her. Seven, Ferrari's older brother, is like the druggie type cat. . . except at the same time, I don't see it.

To my angel.

For you I shall lift your burdens,
Your Enemies will never touch you.

You shall be placed on a pedestal forever protected,
Full of Happiness and grace.

Your beauty will never wilt, for the world will see you through my eyes.
Then it shall fall in love with you as well.



Love your Angel in Disguise.

Home Sick

I am here at home, sick. Coughing like crazy, under house arrest. Not by the law, not by my dad, but by my boyfriend.

But I know why, it's because I am sick. I didn't get any rest last night. My throat hurts from all the coughing.

Rodriguez, Blue eyes, and Dani can confirm. . . . .

I'm just very very ill right now.

I love Slushie, I don't get to see him today... Sucks I know.


No juicy tidbits about him for you, except that he loves me and we are looking for matching rings.

CORRECTION: I am looking for Matching rings. Let's just say, I'm tired of people flirting with me. It's flattering but I don't enjoy it. Makes me wish I had a tattoo of a stop sign on my forehead.


I don't want to be approached, can't men tell the 'stop talking to me' language. Shutting people off, one word talk back.

There is no weakness on this fortress. Never have, never will.

Even when I am at my weakest (meaning sick).

Slushie keeps me strong.
He is my ball and chain, he keeps me grounded from flying. I do not want to fly, and if I do. I want him to come with me. I have always been afraid of flying up to the sky near space. I'm glad he holds my hand to keep me from floating.

You may not understand, but I don't like to think about space.

I am glad he saves me from my head popping. I use to dream about being Peter Pan, I want to stay down and I would grab the nearest hand outstretched to me. Never wanting to let go.


It's true I don't.

"Deadly" Space

One can only read so much before wanting to write about it. Although I have read only a couple pages, I must say I enjoy Peter's way of writing. Even though I see a few grammatical, as usually a English/Lit and Theatre major would obviously notice, errors. I like the way that Peter incites that it is boring to do Shakespeare the usual way (old clothes and long speeches). To me this tells me to break out of the mold as a director. Incredible, isn't it? Imagine Shakespeare differently. What would I do before it is too different?

Now dragging from that perspective, what would I do in the first place? Although Shakespeare, is in itself a work of art. How can I make it my own? I would have to read the play and decide from their. I know as an actor I don't have to think this way. As a director however, I do.

Dude...

Some things are just royally fucked up. But anyways the best way is to look into the future, and have fun while you still can. I am trying to get ladies night out and about so we REAL ladies can show the Kardashians who really owns ***** :)

Cause I love to show up some rich bitches.


Also sorry if this post is really short. Just at the moment. I feel as if Short and sweet will do the job. Otherwise, I will rant.. And we don't want that on our hands, do we?

Hey :)

Okay, this one is one of the best women I have ever met in my life.

Dragon Blue Eyes

Right now she is having technical difficulties.

Auditions went....

I really have no idea how they went. But let me tell you, there is a very strong feeling that I didn't get the part.. The thing that upsets me about that is... the fact that I was freezing and starving at the same time. I'm not exaggerating here, my nail beds were blue yes... Blue.

I freaked out.

Anyways, I rather hope that I wasn't there for an extra hour for no reason. Cause they really put it off till later.

I know he said it was difficult, but I would have rather found out today that I didn't make it. Than actually knowing that night in front of everyone. At least.. It's humiliating to be rejected enough. Now add a whole crowd. I really didn't like that. It's like we really were on a reality t.v show. and the four os us didn't make it. I mean the second I hear one name, and I know her... she is really good. I knew I was cut. Then when another girl was cut, I was like... oh no. Cause she's great too. Than I knew for sure I was cut.

I will check the cast list, or ask Ian to check for me if I am too embarrassed or if I just am late to school.. Okay speaking of school I got to got..

Traffic+Parking= Late


*Update*

10:40 pm

Okay, I'm pissed. But not about the casting or the not being asm thing.. never about the casting or asm. Let me just tell you something. I really can't love a certain someone (not Slushie, never him.. I love him) but I do not want to say who it is because they invade my privacy beyond measure!!!!! There was only one place I felt safe and I will not disclose it, just in case.


Sometimes I wonder what death has in store for me, and sometimes I really wish that lightning did strike me today (it almost did, and this is the second time that it almost did). Problem is, I don't want to die- I couldn't rest knowing that I couldn't reach my goals in life for however short it was.

Okay 4 followers and rising...

Perfect Sliders

Bethan-Marie

AlueByAnna

God Is Among Us


I know, I have been beating around the bush. I now have 4 followers. Of course the last one is religious, but I can't help but wonder how religious they can be. Just as a warning to those people who are highly religious.. I will list the following which I am not sure that might offend you (just so I don't offend you in future reference):

I am a

Theatre Major

I am

Wiccan

I'm pretty sure that sums it up....

I just don't want to offend any of my followers that may view this as some sort of scream for help or need of conversion. I was raise catholic and I discovered that it wasn't for me. My cousins are christian and they didn't provide the best reference except show that they were a stereotypical type of follower. So if you are open to me in general... Then continue following.

Besides I hardly talk about religion. I feel like just because I am something doesn't mean I have to share it with the world. Although, I am on my way to become a Priestess. I will not blog about everything that comes into contact with me as some sort of message blah blah blah. Anyways, I would like to state. If you think I was converted by some sort of sexual festival orgy type thingy where satan or the devil was involved.. Sadly you are mistaken, my ties with the moon converted me.I don't talk bad about other religions, even if they talk about mine. The only thing I find offensive is when someone assumes something about my religion, I don't do that to others and I do not like that done to me. There are many things I do not deserve in the world because of such nonsense thrown at me.

I will gladly tell you all the answers you need to know. Ask me and I will answer. Because the unknown is the most feared.

The reason why I am stating this now, is because

I do not

want to offend anyone. especially

MY

followers.

Except for Twilight fans.. I can insult them for hours. ;)

As a last note though. If you are christian or catholic and you follow my blog you can also follow

Godisamongus

. I think what that person has to show is interesting (art work etc.). Feel free to browse my followers, feel free.

Wow, 30 posts :)

Someone is a little ambitious. Well, I mean come on. Who isn't?
We are all striving to obtained something. For me, it's just something to help my education more. I won't have to worry about money for a while. I must say one thing, I am a big procrastinator. I should be studying my monologue. I will. But then again... I am sooo lazy. Monologues for me are easy and yet hard at the same time. I like learning lines with other people. Monologues don't give me cues.. I give myself cues. It's difficult, but I know I will pull through. Comedic monologues are hard to find. Cause if you take a drama monologue and some how make it funny. It can be, but if you take a comedic monologue and just do it. It can not be as funny as it is in the scene that it was used in.


Tricky things monologues.


In other news, Georgie and I, we discovered while buying stage makeup that I can look good in blonde. I shall post up photos now :)

On the Phone right now with Slushie. ( Slushie is in one of the photos)

I am so tired..

Between work and school and work.. wow, I am just so tired. Like I want to hang out with everybody and do what I need to do. But sometimes there is just so much stress. I don't mind, cause I can go without feeling it for a long while. But I know it's there and it can exasperate me if I let it. So for those that I do not take into consideration with my time. I'm sorry.


School, Slushie and Work. Work pays... School educates... and Slushie loves me. Although he sometimes complains with the work and school schedule, which I don't mind cause I love spending time with him. But sometimes when I spend time with him.... I'm sitting there watching him play video games. And I LOVE video games.. But I really don't want to spend my time off like that. Luckily he hasn't done that since I got work and school taking up my time. I think he realizes sub-consciously, that although we both enjoy the other's presence there.. We have to have some time apart in order to love each other more. When I was in Orestes, me and him would spend time together but we weren't everyday spending so much spare time together. Now we are everyday. I like seeing him, but sometimes I want to relax. I could at his house, I just can't relax too much. If I close my eyes he thinks that he is boring me.


I also must say, that I do not want him to think I am trying to distance myself from him. Just I have a lot of responsibility.. I always did, and I will. At first my schedule is difficult to manage, but then again.... I'll get the hang of it.


In other news, day off tomorrow. Paycheck on monday and.. my college textbooks should be coming in.

I was recognized...

Today at work, Someone recognized me from one of my previous performances in Orestes. Which is amazing, cause I played a chorus member. Okay, for those who don't know. Ian and I, we were in Orestes. Along with the rest of the cast and crew. It was so much fun, a lot of work. But fun.

I have to say that acting, is my line of work. I don't know if I am good at it. I just know that I am happy doing it.
Thank you DMX for giving me my opportunity. She is a great director, and a wonderful person.

This is a Big F * U * to Twilight

FROM YOURS TRULY


Okay, I understand I'm not the best youtube video person.. Well I do it all on my webcam and I don't have good lighting.. I also don't have the quietest or the most invisible of roomies ( I live with my family).

Now, please Enjoy The video. By the way , Personal shout out to my very good friend, Ian. Without your link I couldn't have done it without you. PEOPLE do not flame him, he has read the books. ME however I detest them to a degree that you do not know.

Shout out to my followers

FOLLOWERS:

PERFECT SLIDERS

BETHAN-MARIE

ALUEBYANNA




I like that people are following me, I wonder is it because I have something interesting. I don't know, but for my followers and anyone privately following. BE safe. (for those reading... FOLLOW ME >:D MUAHHHAHAHA )
So For my followers, see if anyother person has an interesting blog. I know that perfectsliders is definitely one you can't miss. I force him to write actually :) He is one of my very good friends.


I also have something to share, one time I did a video blog about Scarlett Johanssen. But I mistaked her for Nicole Kidman. BUT ... it still proves my point that Scarlett Johanssen should not play 'Black Widow'. Now this video is actually about Miley Cyrus and her stripper action.

Wow, I have butterflies.

I feel weak and sick. I think it's anxiety for the coming term. See, Tomorrow is going to be another day. But it's is a new term, I hope I have everything I need. I'm thinking about what will happen, I like that school is soon. I love learning, just... Sometimes I wonder if people will all of a sudden discover something about me they do not like and then everyone hates me for it. I don't know... It's just paranoia, in a way... it's better to be hated than forgotten. I have been forgotten before, and have been hated before... so yeah. I know.

Anyways, I'm taking a few... okay five classes. If I could take more, I would. Tomorrow, is math :( Ugh.. *lurch, blurp*
but then after math ( I have a break which I believe i will be working), there is Stagecraft (which I take along with Tamster) :) Can't wait.. I'm not good with a drill, but I can learn.

Then on Tuesday. Early on is scene study, which I love analyzing scripts... I even do it for other actors. ( By just giving them ideas, and whatever they tell me ..I build on that and keep on handing them ideas that they can take.) Then after that, dare I say it? Stage Makeup! I really can't wait. I know I will love that class... I know the teacher and she is amazing, she is the director that gave me my first chance on stage. Thank the Goddess for DMX (inside joke, kicked your way Ian). Than Dmx for play directing, which I have convinced one of the most fabulous women in the world to join this class. Ah, I'm excited for my new year. I may be a tad bit nervous, but I am very excited.

I also can't wait till there is auditions for the fall play.. Well I can wait, just I'm waiting as patiently as can be while being extremely excited.


EEK!!! :D







I hope that I do well in the script analysis class, the last time I was in a creative class.. My creativity was impeded upon. So I retaliated by showing up late, and turning in my assignments late. I got a C. But wow.. I really didn't want to be in that class, I thought she would give me something more... She never gave me more.

Hook me up- The Veronicas

I feel like sometimes this song talks about me.

'Anywhere is good, Hook me up... Like feeling the rain in my hair.'

Like if you look at the way I look at it, it makes me feel like.. 'Look I'm bored, I want to have fun right now. Let's go hang out, I don't care where.'
Most likely it has like some other meaning behind it, but I like to take songs the way I take them. Why? Because other wise songs have to deal with sex or something.. I wish that music would have more depth, like classical does cause it doesn't have lyrics.. But if music has lyrics, well it loses the depth it can have. At least with the majority of people.

Like I could probably show you what I mean.. Take 3OH!3 's "Don't Trust me" I had to figure out what the fuck Helen Keller meant, but the singer needs to know. Not every body knows certain slang, we are not "hip". But it talks about seducing and abuse and everything.. There will always be something sexual.. I could look at it, like when it says 'and talk with your hips.' I could see that it's her walking away, but the way the whole song is.. it isn't.



Okay sorry If I am ranting... Just heard the song "Hook me up" recently and I liked it.

This goes out to my followers

We are growing in number, I can't wait to see how many followers I get when I start talking about more interesting things.. whenever that happens.

I'm very excited, are you? ;)


FOLLOWERS:

http://perfectsliders.blogspot.com/

http://bethan-marie.blogspot.com/



SO far I like what they write.. I might make a new blog too. We will see, It won't be my main one though.. (THIS IS THE MAIN ONE)

Never mind, too much hassle to create one. Well...maybe, I'll make one for rpgs that I do... LOL those are always interesting.

Roleplay

Okay, I love to roleplay. I like online one to one roleplay. But anyone can do those, what I want is a group that does tabletop roleplay. EXAMPLES: DnD ( Dungeons & Dragons), Star wars, Vampire: The Masqurade, Marvel, or Hunters: The Reckoning. I would do werewolves.. but it's so hard to find the books. But if I could to choose, I would definitely go with Vampire or Hunters first. Then Star Wars or Marvel. Dungeons & Dragons is the last thing on my list because it's difficult to level at first and I would probably die on level one somehow..... or seem like an idiot...

This is my stereotype in Vampire, creative vampire... Usually, like 'Look, I just don't care what I do, but I'll do it with you guys.' But get me angry ( like if you lead people on about me) and I kick your ass. For hunters I don't know yet... Star wars, If I'm a noble, I care about my people and I'm very good politically. Scout, I make fun of people. Jedi, I'm unorthodox and maybe a little grey in the way I look at things as good and evil. Marvel, I could easily be seen as a mutant vigilante.. I get the job done, no matter what the law wants. D&D, I would only feel like an idiot because no doubt I would do something.. stupid.

On another note, I'm trying to write a letter to President Obama. You know about the health care, troops, and gay marriage. If you haven't noticed, nothing has changed, things are only getting worse. Just in case you are worrying that I might tell the President on how to do his job, I won't. I'm just asking that he does his job.

SPAYED.

Poor kitty, taking care of her. She's taking away my Izzy time :( but I have to take care of her. I'll update with pics... later

I don't know why...

Okay..

I am a very biracial background. Let me explain:


MOM= CUBAN CHINESE

DAD= FRENCH, ITALIAN, BLACK, SPAINARD


And that is only scraping the top...


But, for some reason, I don't know why every rich neighborhood I go down

I always feel like I am going to get shot.

Like in some well off neighborhoods the inkling is there, but when I go down a really rich neighborhood... DAMN, Imagine a block of ice on your spine Except like a gun is pointing at you, in your mind. Preferably a rifle visual, with that of shotgun capability...


REASON WHY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO POST THIS:
It's a piece of me that not everyone gets to know.
I'm sorry if it's too much for you guys to understand. It's just this weird feeling I get. I don't want you guys to think any less of me, although if you do, than why read my blog? I can take critics especially since I moderate my own comments.

Sorry.

For such a long wait, I haven't posted in a while. It started from looking to find if I could do the html myself. I use to do it, but when you get to be an old coot like me.. It gets harder. Then it went to me watching netflix, and reading, ' The Picture Of Dorian Gray' .

So what has happened since I last left you... hmm, I just went today to a fair expo liquidation sale. Got some sunglasses.. Really nice. My boyfriend bought them for me.. well actually. His were twenty dollars and he got mine for free. He looks like a sexy cop when he wears his. Mhmmmmmm.. The way he looks in aviators.. maybe I'm a little biased cause after all, he is my boyfriend. Slushie just looks great and sexy in every thing. Oh my muscles in my arms hurt, and so does the ones on my stomach. We have been working out together, me and him are both lazy. But I don't want him fat, and I know he doesn't want me fat. So we help each other.

There is something I need to learn though, and for some reason I don't grasp the fact yet.... That no matter what, Slushie is going to do things for me.. Like he is going to buy me stuff and open the door for me and be a gentleman. But no matter what, I will always want to buy him things and open my door. I will let him be a gentleman, but sometimes I enjoy being the independent woman.. Of course I say this now, If he were to stop. I would think he lost interest or no longer considers me, 'His Princess'. But I love being HIS.. It makes me so happy, and we both know that what we have is special and we feel sorry for other couples. ( at least those who aren't happy, you know the ones that don't get along a lot.) Sometimes, I think me and him should start a couples podcast.... to give advice to being happy, and loving and perfect. Even though we aren't the most perfect people, we can be a perfect couple. We are the puzzle pieces that fit nicely together..


:) Now off to tell you some more.. My Dad is sort of subconsciously accepting the fact that Slushie will eventually be his son in law. It's just a matter of time, and the economy. Hopefully, I will live but that is a story for another time.....

Just thought of this..

I can't believe it's been so long, where has all the time gone.. An endless spiral to which I lose myself freely. A never ending cycle...

Home, Late :(

I don't know why, but my dad gets so upset at me when I come home late. I can understand him calling me and being worried, but it's not my fault I didn't hear my phone vibrate or anything at all. I love my dad, but he is sometimes too... Over the top. It's not like I'm out of the house with just anyone, I was with my Slushie. Which tonight, when he finally stopped playing Oblivion, he gave me a foot massage and out of nowhere he just became the most affectionate that I have ever seen him. We kissed, and cuddled. Talked about moving in together. Oh, if I had a lot of money. I would have already moved in somewhere with him.He is after all my future fiance. ( Don't worry, he knows this.)

We both plan on being together, moving in, being engaged.. than eventually marriage.
But my dad is a bit old fashioned... or shall I say, very old fashioned.
My dad won't let me go on a trip that Slushie wants to save up to take me to. (Disney)

I'm 19 years old. In college. Like, I don't like my dad not giving me the time to grow and make my own choices. After all, I'm not going to being living under his roof forever. But my dad thinks I'm just a kid. He is right, but in order to grow and mature and be my own woman. I need him to respect my choices and let me try to flap my wings... One wing may be broken, but if I don't move it.

I never will.

CURRENTLY FIXING

I'm going to try to make this blog more.. ABOUT ME

Like I want you guys to get a piece of me when you look at this. I'll tell you now. I'm no web expert.. I will try my best to do this..

Aw, Dexter...You kill people :)

Yes, I like the show. I guess I'm a fan. Although, I am a firm believer in there is no such thing as a perfect murder.. Even in O.J. Simpson's case, he only had an amazing, above and beyond Lawyer who swept the floor with anyone else. I know that although they didn't get him for murder, they got him for theft....



Okay, you guys might know this from a song.

"Shush Girl, shut your lips. Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips."

Like what kind of idiotic song writer wrote that? I looked it up in urban dictionary... the possibilities are : wear Sunglasses indoors, or, trying to find a means without any conventional help.

Well, I'm thinking... Helen Keller, the woman... sorry my mistake! Anyone else think this sucks for H.K. ?

G.I. JOE

Oh my, I remember when I was a child. does anyone remember the cartoons, probably not... But then again.. COBRA!!!!!


I can't stop shrieking that out in that damn voice. Today I am going to watch that movie, I hope that no one is there to see it. But most likely the theatre will be packed. I feel as if it's a lie. I don't believe a movie theatre should be packed like that. I can expect a real theatre to be packed like that, but the movie? I only think the place where a movie theatre should be packed is the premiere where all the celebrities are, or the midnight showing.


Anywayy, I know some people disagree with my opinion. But my opinion is subject to change. Let me tell you though, that everything depends on the situation. I will give you love for now though. I am off to Slushie's.

Talk to you later ;)... Same blog Same time.
*********************

Meh..

When I was younger I created a whole language of "Meh".

You might think, 'Oh you got that from The Simpsons.' Then I would look at you and think you were an idiot, because seriously a very young child who didn't watch television created a word that came from a t.v. series... I will tell you that I am not like that.I like to tell the truth to the best of my ability.


Just like how, I use to be a fanfiction writer. ( I will not post my ID up here for anyone to see) I have far removed my work, because slowly but surely my work was being stolen. In pieces... to feel violated, but to let the world know. I can't prove my case, so I must neatly resign and watch my work be used. I hate watching my work be used.. They never know the proper way of using it, they try to mimic, but the greatness is not there. Or something that could be great. I'm not the best, but I can certainly tell a story with the written word. I'm not so good with telling a story through language or talking. So I guess I should have blogged my life from the start... Imagine a two year old telling you that she learned to swim today.. Except you probably couldn't understand cause she only said or wrote,

"Meh."

Slip and Fall

Ouch.

Really falling in dog piss, isn't one of my best moments.. Running to catch the cat and the only to slip and fall in it isn't at all the greatest feeling.. especially hurting your thigh, wrist and side of the arm.. Also I hit my head, but whatever. If I die because of hemorrhage, we will all know because a fatal fall in dog piss.. I don't want that on my tombstone... hell I don't want a tombstone.. I want a snow white type coffin, that way you see me decay.


Oh and so far, I'm fine just I hurt and am sore.. I guess it's better to hurt than to be numb.. (no broken bones love, no broken bones..)

From My Iphone 3gs...

Over at Slushie's.. Tell you about the television thing later. Oh and... damndamndamn

*****
ALright I'm home now... GRRRRR!!!
If it's not one thing it's another and then calamity!!
My t.v. no longer works yet again...

the fan broke, and the the light bulb, which is BRAND NEW, could have possibly overheated.... GGRRRRRRR!!!

I hope that I can talk later.. right now. drowning self in icecreamm~ Vanilla and chocolate with chocolate syrup and soon I'll add m&ms... i wish i owned coldstone creamery than i would have birthday cake remix over and over again..


*****
Slipped and fell... I'll talk to you guys about it tomorrow.. Right now it hurts too much.

Alright, the return of Television

I have been home without t.v. for a while. Like it's been boring, I usually watch my stuff through netflix cause I have this thing where I have to watch things chronologically. But I have been doing whatever is necessary, to get through this no t.v. thing

FOR ONE REASON

I wanted to play some more of my saints row 2.

So yeah, It's difficult to be patient when you have dibs on a game and then bam.. something happens where it won't let anyone play. My brother and I are excited, although I had to help my dad put the bulb in. He screamed at me, I screamed at him... Mainly because when my brother asks for something(he's on the phone) my dad thinks it's me asking for something else...


******************************

Just in case.

Just an update, he was mad. But he thought he yelled at me. (for the record: he didn't)

I swear I deserve the longest silent treatment ever, but he didn't do that. He was worried, and as soon as he didn't see me. He immediately thought something was wrong. I'm lucky to have someone care about me so much, like my dad cares about me like that too. But to have two people care about me in that way? I'm really lucky. I appreciate their thoughts about my safety, even if I don't show it.

Readers, I hope I'm not boring you. It's no action movie or comedic relief... It's just what happens.

You can't make this stuff up, other wise it wouldn't be a blog. Now would it?

Talk To you guys later if your there..

We provide, Leverage..

**************************************************************
That show, "Leverage" , is getting to my favorites list.. Seriously, I recommend it. I am watching it right now on netflix. I saw the previews for season one when I was watching a movie once, and I immediately wanted to see it. I believe I was going to see Star trek... Yes I was going to see star trek. Okay I'm going to continue cause right now I am at episode 5 at exactly 21:25

Oh my, I'm going to be an addict. Besides, House M.D. and Leverage, I wonder what other shows I really love?

Well, we will see. I'll update later tonight :) And on this same post.

**************************************************************
**************************************************************

Okay midday review, I'm a very bad girlfriend. Like I always seem to make my boyfriend happy. But today, I've been putting him in a bad mood. A really bad mood. He didn't want him to go to the pool today. But I made him, than when he had left. Me and my friend, (my friend, who is engaged to his friend) decide to hide.

I should have known, but I'm an idiot. He got pissed, cause he doesn't like surprises or games like that. I understand that, but I'm not perfect and I do get pissed. I really hate the silent treatment. He isn't giving me the silent treatment but he isn't really happy with me right now. So I'm slightly depressed, not fully. Because well I hope that he gets happy with me again. I just don't mean to do what I do sometimes...

I love him, a lot. I really do, so it's difficult to see him upset at me. But it's going to be something I have to work at...

What I mean by work at- work at not disappointing him. Not work at seeing him upset... I really dislike to see him upset.

I wish I could make him happy all the time.
**************************************************************

Too early in the morning, but hey.. what can I say?

"in every minute of the day, the truth is that I'm dead, until I'm here on stage, with you, then I'm alive instead"-Lady Gaga

A Tweet that she tweeted a long time ago. I like it, I'm not saying it's the best amazing work and have like a heart attack. But it's nice and straight to the point with a little subtlety. However, if she had my creative writing teacher, I know for sure she would get a C like I did.

That lady, although being a published author, had no IDEA what I was doing in a poem. I learned in that class, that I really do have to spell it out for readers. Let me just say to you guys who might be reading this now...

I will not treat you like idiots, I do not underestimate my readers . I like to believe that there is someone intelligent out there other than myself. Don't prove me wrong.

I know that there were a few people in my class who understood, and there was only one person who gave me any good form of criticism. That was that I do go from past tense to present tense often. It's only cause I see it, I took a screenwriting class so that got me into present tense and I like writing past tense. Because often I see the actions that are done and write it in past tense.. Now I switch back and forth. It's going to be difficult, but I'll try my best. besides..

Isn't that what Editors are for?


Sorry, If i didn't mention this but.. Good Morning :) have a nice day.

I guess..

To apply for this scholarship, I must write an essay.Using any one of these questions.

How have you used blogging to help yourself or others?
What is the most powerful social change you have seen come out of blogging?
Why did you start blogging? What does blogging mean to you? Why is blogging important to you?

I hope that I can find out how to answer these, in an honest and good way.. Or at least elaborate on them.

So I'm on my way to find out my blog zen..

first stop, what the hell is a blog spammer?

* OOOOHHH, Good... just Spam bots in general*

Working on Monologues :D

I really like monologues, but they are much harder to do when you don't have someone else to give you a line so you know where to go. I like editing them, and fitting them slightly so I can create the character to enter. I don't change the character, but when I'm auditioning I have to do what I have to do and if I don't remember the lines... I'm well, to put it blatantly, screwed.

Cause if You can't remember your lines, they won't want you.


Ever wonder why film stars go back to theatre? Easily explained, Theatre is where they can get back to real acting. Not to say film isn't real, just it's easier to do. I like both, but theatre has more adrenaline and less room for error. Film has more hours, like 4 hours of shooting for one minute of the movie.


Also, I'm not that kind of actor who has sex to get to the top. I have talent. I'm not afraid to use my talent. My talent was recently discovered by someone who gave me a chance. I'm not thickheaded or anything, saying I'm the best. But I'm learning, and what is an actor if the actor doesn't learn? Nothing. If an actor doesn't learn, well they better stop being an actor.

Explanation.

You may be wondering why my blog is titled, 'Where are you when the curtain rises?' I'm virtually very good at coming up with titles. but when trying to sum up a name for something like a blog. I can't seem to come up with anything. I want it said that this is something I took from an advertisement. I don't believe it should be copyrighted where I can't use it as a blog title because if you think of it. I'm an actor. I should be affiliated with asking that question, and I just think it rings so well with me. I really love it.

That is my explanation. (also if the people who did the advertisement think of suing me, My defense is.. I'm not taking the TAGLINE. I'm just taking the question, and making an inquiry of others.)

Okay, Got it :)

Slushie and I, we met through a friend. But not just anywhere. Let me start from the top.

I know me and him met once before because of my friend but I never saw him again for a while. For a while, I was afraid of seeing him again. Cause I really WAS attracted to him. But I had Major Abuser as a boyfriend at the time. I felt sick. So, I smiled said bye to my friend and everybody, waved to him bye. Major Abuser broke up with me that day.

THAN A MONTH (Or something like that) LATER, I saw my friend again so I smiled gave her a hug. And we were reintroduced, this time I started a conversation. Oh my... my conversation with him wasn't the best first impression. I was talking about Choppers, but since I didn't know what the term was I called them..... Leisure bikes. Slushie corrected me, but I now know the term. After a week, he said for me to give him a call so we could have lunch some time.

Little did I know, he canceled his business trip to New York for me.. I sent him a text, but he didn't have text. So the next week I met up with him again, and it made me happy. We kept meeting at the very bench that we started talking at.

Now, I will tell you he is no rebound. Why? cause I had my chance to mourn for that month that I didn't seem him again. When I was reintroduced, I definitely thought he was attractive. So I don't believe him to be any rebound. You may think a month is too short a time, but it really wasn't because to me I got over it the same day and I had fun for a while.

I'm glad that me and him are dating. Although our first unofficial date, was a massacre. I had invited my best friend, not the friend that I met him through. I just made a mess of it, because well my friend wanted to come along and I couldn't say no cause me and her were hanging out like every day.

So, I was obligated...

Oh but when we were alone... wow, he really grabbed my attention. Slushie is a really good kisser and show me just how much of a wild animal he had. To tell the truth, I like that so much in Slushie.

V <3's Slushie

We have been dating, we decided after not knowing the actual date when we were official to start at the unofficial date day, So we have been dating for 5 months, 1 week and 6 days.

and WOW :) I have to say he is the greatest, and the best for me.

I'm happy knowing that when he feels bad, I can make him feel better. I love that what I do effects him. I love knowing that I love him and he loves me back.

Oh he will never stop bringing up the fact he said, 'I love you' or 'I'm falling for you' first. Ladies, we all know who felt it first, right? ;) Anyways, it wasn't difficult to lower my barrier though. I know I felt it first but I didn't have the courage to say it first. Why?

Well, he had told me about his ex. But when he said it, he as told me that she was the only girlfriend that he could ever love. So I'm really glad I got him over her. I mean, seriously he is a great guy. She missed out.

Oh, and Slushie is very overprotective. Mainly, I think it's because of her cheating on him. But I don't mind. I never had a guy that wanted to be over protective of me. I feel safer when I'm with him then when I am in my own home with family inside the house.

Maybe I'll add pictures of me and him later.

Work Situation.

Okay, I have to call at 9:30 pm. To double check what I'm getting. First job in the food industry :)

I want to be a waiter, so I can work with people. But I'm not going to be that type of waiter who expects just because they are overly nice that they THINK they deserve a big tip. I KNOW I'm the type of waiter that would be overly nice that wouldn't care whether I got a tip or not.

I'd appreciate it, but I wouldn't think I deserve it.

Remember: TIPS are APPRECIATED ;)

Okay so meanwhile that I'm waiting for an overtly long time, since it is 8:10 and to get the information I want. I have to wait... which I can be patient. But it gets tiresome on the body as it makes me anxious. SO To keep my mind off, let me tell you a little bit more about myself. Okay, I live in the Sunshine State. WHATEVER YOU DO! Do not think I live in California, there just so happens to be a Sunshine State with Oranges as well. If you know what I am talking about, Good for you. If you don't, let me just say. You might think old people come here to die.

Not true. I wish I could tell you more, but I don't. Next thing about me.

I am Currently Taken. Yes, I am off the market. I am not available. SO please, don't tell me how beautiful I am and some internet nothings. It will not work.

I love him, and he loves me. We are happy, although right now I am typing it without his consent, so he will know I am talking about him eventually. As I do in anything involving the internet.. (facebook, myspace, twitter) I have yet to say in a video blog how much I love him. So that will be next.

Before you think, "OMG" to that. I must say, I am a theatre major, and an english and education major.. Mainly being a theatre major though. Since most of my classes consist of THEATRE. Just look at the title of the blog :D Spells it out for you huh?

Okay, what else. Well I'm a bit of a nerd... okay that is a lie, I'm a B-I-G NERD in all caps.

Talking to my Boyfriend on the phone..... 8:35 pm

He is very worried about losing me. He doesn't know, that I am way more afraid of losing him. He is by far the best boyfriend I have ever had. My previous boyfriends were so lame....

(FOLLOWING NAMES are nicknames that I have given them now)

QuietBoy, me and him were always quiet. We would stay quiet and sit together. So for two months that was how it was. He was a gamer, and I thoroughly encouraged that. My brother helped me buy him 'Saints Row' for christmas. Than January I found myself without a boyfriend. He told me, 'He wasn't ready for a girlfriend' Two weeks later, he's dating his best friends ex. His best friend.. interested in me. (everyone thinks he is gay.)

Faraway waves, I don't have anything bad to say about him. If he lived in the states, I would still be with him. But promises can only run so long.... and money never comes up when you need it. I said my goodbyes, and farewells. But if I ever write in a bottle to put in the water.. I would write to him and hope it gets there safely so he could hear how I'm doing now.

Major Abuser, I have to say for someone soooooo "smart", he really had his head stuck up his anus. Number one, this guy hurt me. He would take away my phone and when I tried to get it back, he would use a pressure point on my thumb and then put my arm behind my back. He didn't do it softly either. He smokes weed, and he is very PRO ARMY. Wow, you would think they didn't go hand to hand. Now his line for breaking up with me, 'I don't want to spend the rest of my life with you.' (Luckily he did break up with me, he made me feel sick.)

Chess Wimp and Stick Drama, they both happened at the same time. Chess wimp, not much to say about him. Loves Chess,and made fun of me *rolls eyes*.. Stick Drama, OMG, can I say worse than a woman? Seriously, he really needs to grow some. I doubt he has.

Now, I MUST tell you about my Boyfriend.

I won't post his name here, yet. Until I have permission to use his name or a nickname.

Now, he is the most amazing guy. (all you women with boyfriends, don't flame or say yours is.. This is my blog.. MY opinion, go to your blog and say it.. and link mine to say why your saying it ^^) Let me explain why..

First, he makes me happy. Always a plus. He also is protective of me, and I don't mean regular protective. I mean, real Protective. Bodyguard like. Which I think is sooo cute. I find my boyfriend adorable, when he is playing his video games, or playing with his cards. .... I feel like posting up how we met now :) ( But next post when I get permission for the name thing). He knows how to make me laugh, and cares so much. Think of us as already Engaged, because even though he hasn't proposed yet and I don't have a ring. We are going to be. We just want college out of the way. We also need money to move in together, not like this economy is going to help.

Alright , oh he is strong. Fast. He physically attracts me, but not only that. He has a brain. (feminists LOOK AWAY) He admits that he thinks of me as his territory. But I understand why, because he explained it to me. I agree. We are very different people, you would never think that me and him were dating if you met us separately. Then again, you would know the second that we were in the same room.

Sorry if my thought are being just blurted out, I usually just type for ages if I have no topic line. Or essay themed way. Or novel... I'm just typing my thought process...

Hey there.

I must admit that I am very dubious of my intentions when I created this blog. I did it for the sake that I can win a scholarship. I need money for college. So I steal money from real bloggers, by creating a blog only to win. Now MInd you this is more of a chore for me than meets the eye. I have to come here every day and post my life. So I'm going to take what I can, including money.

Cruel? You might say? Peh, I am far from cruel.... in person. I shall figure out how to do this from my phone so it can be sooooo much easier.