POTTERMORE!!!

I cannot wait until October. This makes me soooo depressed. Other than that I have been working in the theatre, etc etc. Dedicated. Drawing. Disney JOB, Awesome. Happy. Sad. Depressed again. ETC.

I am better than others* Exeunt.

*Disclaimer: I am not sure if I am better than others. I just put this because I am one dedicated Mother F-er

On my way to the Top

This Monday I am going to begin anew at a new school. At FIU, an airport of a university, where I will be consumed by Theatre and similar duties. Starting the day with an early class introducing Design. What kind of design? Probably scenic, lighting, or just the general idea of it. Then I have a break, but followed by Acting 1 (although I am apprehensive about taking this, I will do it to see if there is anything I can relearn what I forgot or something new will be taught). After Acting 1, another break and then I have Tech Lab 2. Which is basically forced Theatre hours in the form of a class. But if you know me, you know I give a lot of time to the Theatre without being forced (forcing students to do hours would be better for those who think that all they have to do in Theatre is act).

After my First day full of classes, the second day has less but still exciting work load. There is costuming tech in the morning and in the afternoon I have to analyze plays; of which I would think it is second nature for an actor to do. Reading, re-reading, taking notes, and researching are all in a day's work. But that is just the beginning of the load. Taking into account that everyone is different, think of a mad scientist creating a creature. That creature will have mannerisms maybe similar to the mad scientist but will undoubtedly be different.There are many things that can explain the reason why they like touching their hair, it could be a fear of losing their hair so they constantly touch it through the day. What kind of music they like: classical, rock, rap or maybe they aren't main stream and they go underground. They could be cultural enthusiasts, even if that culture isn't their own. There is so much work to be placed into a character, there are a lot of people who don't realize it. Those people are the ones that say Acting is easy. But to be the best, there is effort placed.

Besides the fact that I have a heavy school schedule for this Fall, I might have to get a job. Start saving up money for a cruise that I plan to go on, pay rent. Oh, when will I have time?

Among other things I have also begun drawing web comics for my brother (It's a weekly thing). He thinks I am a talented little bugger. I guess I am, but talent can be meaningless without skill and discipline. So I have a hefty schedule to keep busy with. But I haven't started saying the full blow of it.

Add that hefty schedule with attempting to work out as often as possible during the week, doctor appointments that have sprung up because of something that has caught their eye in my health, trying to take photos to document myself as well as areas of my life, and don't forget one of the most important things.... MY BOYFRIEND! He isn't fond of my schedule but we will work it out. We always do <3

Besides that, I bought my books and Slushie's books. I need to get him FAFSA. Yes the dreaded FAFSA ruler of distributing funds to who it deems worthy!

Okay maybe not so much who it deems worthy but the "neediest" of the ones who NEED.

I am not so lucky to be one of the "neediest" of the need. The numbers that my dad makes seems like he is well off. We do okay, but my college is a heavy burden. I have worked before to make me self sustaining but often I have to turn to him for help. I am not the only one, my brother does too. But since I have been doing it all of my life, I can understand I am a bigger burden.

Other News, I have cut and dyed my hair :)

Isn't that a great note to leave off?

5 more years?

Before I can graduate with a bachelors in theatre.

I need to check if this is true.
I just can't believe that it will take that long. Especially if it's going to be two years before I can audition for any plays.

That made me want to cry; luckily I didn't.

I have two classes with my friend Harmony;) her nickname. So cute huh? She would kill me if I called her that though lol

Summer

There is really so much going on this summer.
The love of my life is beside me and we are quietly on computers having finished a test for our class.
I am ecstatic about what this guy is teaching us- he is a really good teacher. Unfortunately, I cannot mention his name; because it would probably go against his rights.
There will be an orientation at FIU soon. I paid and hopefully will register classes on that day and everything will be clear. There is also the question about scholarships.
I need to get a new doctor however, since I am 21 I need a primary instead of a pediatrician.
But I love my pediatrician :)
Kinda makes me want to be a little kid again (:
Kinda..

Amongst all this, my room is being done. I am going to organize it and pictures will be up soon. Maybe..


Lalalalala di da

I got accepted!

To FIU.

Exciting, and you know what is even better?

My best friend is accepted as well.

I cannot wait to begin at a new school.

I love MDC, but it's time for me to continue my education elsewhere.

I'm gonna miss Jroney, Dmello, JOSÉ!, Chris, and B-rad. I will visit them because in my eyes they are now my friends. But this is also a new chapter in my life that I need to undergo. So I have one last semester (the summer, which is only 2 classes). Then I will be at FIU- can I say GYM, TSC, THEATRE much?

Yeah lately I have been hitting the gym and with the new discovery of Tropical Smoothie Cafe because of my BEST FRIEND!!! I can be happy. But of course she and I will still go to the one around her house to hang out and chill.

She is fabulous!

I won't mention her name yet or give her a nickname although she will of course be mentioned in future posts but.. with this AT&T cap going on.. I don't know how long I will be able to get the internet.

But I wreak my revenge on at&t by destroying their precious "NETWORK" because i Have unlimited on my phone and they better never touch that cause I can create havoc.

However I forsee more posts if things go my way in the near future.

Sorry for long Hiatus

It's been tough these past couple of months and I am just in a drag my heels feeling.

Not only the fact that I cannot help but be depressed, and feel anxiety.

But in other news I am lucky to still be here.

So for now I will keep it short and simple so as to confuse you and make you want to ask questions.

Applying for colleges

It is probably one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Paying non-refundable fees to just be looked at by the college...

OBAMA, I NEED A REFUND!!!

Although he has better things to do then sit here and give me $60+ back..

I hope that I can get at least a percentage of it back.. If I'm not accepted- I hope I get the whole cost back.

I am getting one application done, which consists of many forms and I will have to go to my college and ask for official transcripts... (Wondering if I can get one and copy them and then send to all colleges I want to attend)

I entered the Blogging Scholarship Contest!

Today is the last day, and that is when I entered it.

If you click the title, it will take you to it.

This was my entry:

I started blogging for only one reason. For this scholarship, it took me a while to figure out what I wanted to write about. I finally figured out that my life although I deem it to be boring, it is actually quite entertaining.My blog is about my life and my interests, so naturally it would involve Theatre. Why? Because it is what motivates me in life. I can choose to do anything I want, and I do. I am involved with every production at my college for the past Two years. I have been purely Theatre motivated.

Blogging has helped me however, it has helped me assess my life and what problems continue to occur. It means I can express myself to the endless reaches of the internet and I won't be so alone. But I am a full-time student, I have no friends, and Theatre is my career. Essentially this would equate to having no life but that would be where the equation is incorrect. I have a great life, and I am always busy having a blast whether working or playing. Would I change my life to be like everybody else? No. I know I am worth more than what others see. Besides having money for education is what I really need. That in itself is the human folly, the condition that we are truly just selfish people. I am selfish because I want that money so I can transfer to another school after I get my AA, to have the money to afford it.

Blogging is important to me because it gives me the opportunity to vent out how I feel. I hope someone feeling the same way reads my blogpost and shares something of their own. Then maybe my blog will bring people together.

It is exactly 300 words and it is in 3 paragraphs. You don't actually have to read it, but I think it is the best stuff I have ever written. I edited it(which I never do with a paper, usually), and I did not exceed the max number.

I hope I win, but if I don't win. I hope someone else I know does.

I just sent her a text

I know she deserves it just as much as I do.

BREAK A LEG!

I'm on the outside looking in.

Sometimes I wonder what is the point of society. This rule that you have to fit in otherwise people avoid you like the plague.

It hurts. I don't consider myself a cruel person. I don't like it when people are left out, because I know how it feels.

I try to love myself, and nothing helps cause I want friends. But if you ever seen the movie where the popular girls although popular have no true friends. Imagine not being popular and having no friends. A loner that wants the social interaction that tries hard to get people to see me.

I hate that even when there are people around me, I feel alone.

That has even started with my boyfriend, he tries so hard to please me and to make me happy. Sometimes he succeeds. But I still feel constantly alone.

I even notice when people do choose to be around me is when there is no one better around them to be with.

I am invisible.

R.I.P Marcus

To sum this man up in just a few words is difficult if not close to impossible ( this paper being the "Few words"):

E. Marcus Smith was the most inspiring person that I have ever met. There were many times when he would fix a problem that others couldn't mend. He was full of magic and he could create and know how to build things that look and feel real. A genius in all of his desired fields (which was anything he wanted to do). To have known this man; is to have been blessed.

Although, Students and Teachers/Staff are not allowed to be friends. In the theatre department it is difficult to do because we work hard and often spend a lot more time together than Teachers/Staff and Students do in any other field. Which means bonds that could last a lifetime form.

He was my Santa Claus (and he looked like Santa), but he was a man that I would dearly want to call as a grandfather figure in my life. His passing was a big blow and has effected many, if not all, of us involved in theatre. In the Theatre Department, he was one of the vital parts. Now that he is gone there is a space there that cannot be filled by just anyone.

I know I am not the only one that feels that way.It still effects me now and I know it will effect me in future. He is sorely missed.

V

A little girl who wishes her mentor could come back and teach her more of, and about, the technical side of theatre.

It's been a while

I have a lot to write here about the last couple of days. But I cannot write everything. Somethings shouldn't be on the internet where anyone can read them.

For the past week I have been sick. Extremely sick where I had to sick school on monday because I couldn't breathe. Not stress, I would know.

I have nothing to be stressed about, school is kind of a piece of cake to me at least for this summer's course.

I will hold to my own secrets. But I must say that only a couple of people will know. One, Serene. Two, Sweet pea. Slushie already knows. So those three people will be my little secret keepers cause I care about them and I want them to know.

Promise RIng

My boyfriend gave me a promise Ring. Yesterday when I woke up. He told me that remember the gift I wanted to give you? It belonged to his mom, and he gave it to me. I was so very happy. I must say it was a surprise.. I love him so much.. I can't wait to tell everyone!!!

I LOVE HIM!!!

RAWR!!!kdhkzdhfkdhkafddf

Then we went to dinner with his parents, had a great time!

My Taking of Photos

Yeah I can take pretty good photos. I have been happy with what I have achieved so far. But I know I can do more and be better.

Or fail.

But whatever, see my work on Deviant Art :)

I am so bored, I want to do something productive..

That is the life of an ACTORTECHIE (:

I cried today..

I cried so hard that I got a headache, I don't want to share why I cried or what caused it. I know what caused it and I don't want to go down memory lane of the this day again.

Repressing is bad but I rather be happy or try to get happy then cry again and again and again. I know it is not the end of the world and life will go on, even without me.

But maybe the without me is what I am afraid of.. I wish the world would stop, I wish it was all Full moon, stars and Night sky... But it's not. It's harsh day light too.

UGHHHHH!!!!

I just wish I could cry hard and get it out of my system but it is there and I hurt and I can't stand it... I really am leaning toward violent means at the moment..which is bad cause I don't want violence.... I JUST WANT A RELEASE!!!

Got my new camera!!

Oh my god.. I love my new camera. Only one problem, I think I got jipped.. I will try to fix the problem sunday.. if not.. one of life's many lessons.

My week of Summer

Oh goodness.

I am dming a group for Hunters. I did it on sunday and it was just my brother, Slushie and I. So far, from the raving I am getting from Slushie, it was a great game. I still have to do some reading though and creating. WHich now that I finished a second season of Buffy( which I have recently gotten into for the pure David Boreanaz of it to see his acting like I have in seen in so many Bones episodes then later I actually like some of the characters, mainly Giles). For some reason, I do not like Buffy at all. Nothing against Sarah, just toward her charcater. While sometimes I think she is alright, often enough I do not like what she does.

Now rest on thee, the game I am dming has nothing to do with BUFFY.

It has to do with I feel is how the world of darkness works.

Of course I have all the books..

I will post the rp on my roleplay addict blog as soon as possible.

I found out, I do not have two weeks of summer.. I have one.. One week of nothing to do but what I want lazybeach sun fun thingy out in the world without a care time. Ugh....

On other news, two more days and then my camera will be here ^^ (supposed arrival : May 7th)

I have been waiting a very long time.

School is done!

Well, not completely. I need to find out my grades.

My two weeks of summer already begun. You guys are probably wondering; what? Two weeks? ONLY?!

Yes, I do have only two weeks. I am a busy little bee, I signed up for classes.

Let me check to see if my grades are posted...

(checked my Boyfriends grades)

He has a B(Theatre Appreciation) and C (Speech).


OHMYGOD!!!!

Okay I am super happy. Saw my grades..
It goes Like this...

Originally I was going to have a C for Math for liberal arts, But even though I can pass the class with a C. I took the final...
I guess I did well on the final because my C was bumped up to a WHOPPING B. I am so happy.

Now... I have a B for speech.

Now, for my Theatre Appreciation class. That I was worried I might get a C on. I got...

an...

A!

For my Theatre Costuming I got an A

My Playwriting Class 1/2 , I also got an A

Now, I know such great news. My Term GPA is a 3.60 But one thing confuses me, it says my cumulative gpa is a 3.50.. which is weird.. I look at my new unofficial transcript and it says instead of where the 3.50 is it says 3.53

and then under all that.. it says 3.61 ??

But I use to be 3.62....

well whatever.. I guesscause last time I got 4 a's and one c and this time I got 3 a's and two b's... Sheesh.

ANYWAYS, my daddy ordered my camera!!! I should be getting it next week.

Perfectly happy

We can never be Perfectly Happy. No matter how we try to convince ourselves. There is always something better. That is why there are cheaters in the world. That is why there are con men. Basically that is why Greed Exists.
WE WANT BETTER!
But better doesn't exist, we can never be satiated with what we know to be better. Because when we have better, we want better than that. So where does it all end?

I say it never will.

Technology, homes, significant others...

We all look for what we can get the most out of, and to think about it. I mean, really think about it. What do we truly deserve?

I know that there are a lot of poor people who deserve more than they have. I know that there are a lot of rich people that shouldn't have what they do. I also know a few people who need a baseball bat to the face, that includes some celebrities.

I also know I don't deserve a whole lot.

I try to be kind to people, and even when they walk over me. I still try to be kind. I still reach out my hand to help out someone.

I believe it is in a desire to feel better that I did a good deed. Otherwise, like some people would probably think.. What is the point of being kind?

Well I know, why.... I want to be better than I am.

I think that is one of the betters I really try to get.. and it's true. I can never satiate myself with how better I can be. Because I always want more.

Sorry this turned out to be either philosophical or something to the nature of finding myself or being whatever this is.

Just thinking... Which I think I lost the train of thought.

Or maybe I am subconsciously stopping myself..

I want to RP so bad

I really want to roleplay. Especially with one of my friends from Pennsylvania. She and I have known each other for a long time. I was in middle school, she was younger than me.


Going ICHAT DIVING FOR PIECE OF THAT ROLEPLAY I WANT TO CONTINUE >D


MUHAHWHWHAHA

Gosh

Okay, Sorry about the lack of typing recently. In play MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING.
Though I would get to write in here but not as much time as I would have hoped.. Also no camera yet :(

This has been an update brought to you by me .... now sleep.