Applying for colleges

It is probably one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Paying non-refundable fees to just be looked at by the college...

OBAMA, I NEED A REFUND!!!

Although he has better things to do then sit here and give me $60+ back..

I hope that I can get at least a percentage of it back.. If I'm not accepted- I hope I get the whole cost back.

I am getting one application done, which consists of many forms and I will have to go to my college and ask for official transcripts... (Wondering if I can get one and copy them and then send to all colleges I want to attend)

I entered the Blogging Scholarship Contest!

Today is the last day, and that is when I entered it.

If you click the title, it will take you to it.

This was my entry:

I started blogging for only one reason. For this scholarship, it took me a while to figure out what I wanted to write about. I finally figured out that my life although I deem it to be boring, it is actually quite entertaining.My blog is about my life and my interests, so naturally it would involve Theatre. Why? Because it is what motivates me in life. I can choose to do anything I want, and I do. I am involved with every production at my college for the past Two years. I have been purely Theatre motivated.

Blogging has helped me however, it has helped me assess my life and what problems continue to occur. It means I can express myself to the endless reaches of the internet and I won't be so alone. But I am a full-time student, I have no friends, and Theatre is my career. Essentially this would equate to having no life but that would be where the equation is incorrect. I have a great life, and I am always busy having a blast whether working or playing. Would I change my life to be like everybody else? No. I know I am worth more than what others see. Besides having money for education is what I really need. That in itself is the human folly, the condition that we are truly just selfish people. I am selfish because I want that money so I can transfer to another school after I get my AA, to have the money to afford it.

Blogging is important to me because it gives me the opportunity to vent out how I feel. I hope someone feeling the same way reads my blogpost and shares something of their own. Then maybe my blog will bring people together.

It is exactly 300 words and it is in 3 paragraphs. You don't actually have to read it, but I think it is the best stuff I have ever written. I edited it(which I never do with a paper, usually), and I did not exceed the max number.

I hope I win, but if I don't win. I hope someone else I know does.

I just sent her a text

I know she deserves it just as much as I do.

BREAK A LEG!

I'm on the outside looking in.

Sometimes I wonder what is the point of society. This rule that you have to fit in otherwise people avoid you like the plague.

It hurts. I don't consider myself a cruel person. I don't like it when people are left out, because I know how it feels.

I try to love myself, and nothing helps cause I want friends. But if you ever seen the movie where the popular girls although popular have no true friends. Imagine not being popular and having no friends. A loner that wants the social interaction that tries hard to get people to see me.

I hate that even when there are people around me, I feel alone.

That has even started with my boyfriend, he tries so hard to please me and to make me happy. Sometimes he succeeds. But I still feel constantly alone.

I even notice when people do choose to be around me is when there is no one better around them to be with.

I am invisible.

R.I.P Marcus

To sum this man up in just a few words is difficult if not close to impossible ( this paper being the "Few words"):

E. Marcus Smith was the most inspiring person that I have ever met. There were many times when he would fix a problem that others couldn't mend. He was full of magic and he could create and know how to build things that look and feel real. A genius in all of his desired fields (which was anything he wanted to do). To have known this man; is to have been blessed.

Although, Students and Teachers/Staff are not allowed to be friends. In the theatre department it is difficult to do because we work hard and often spend a lot more time together than Teachers/Staff and Students do in any other field. Which means bonds that could last a lifetime form.

He was my Santa Claus (and he looked like Santa), but he was a man that I would dearly want to call as a grandfather figure in my life. His passing was a big blow and has effected many, if not all, of us involved in theatre. In the Theatre Department, he was one of the vital parts. Now that he is gone there is a space there that cannot be filled by just anyone.

I know I am not the only one that feels that way.It still effects me now and I know it will effect me in future. He is sorely missed.

V

A little girl who wishes her mentor could come back and teach her more of, and about, the technical side of theatre.

It's been a while

I have a lot to write here about the last couple of days. But I cannot write everything. Somethings shouldn't be on the internet where anyone can read them.

For the past week I have been sick. Extremely sick where I had to sick school on monday because I couldn't breathe. Not stress, I would know.

I have nothing to be stressed about, school is kind of a piece of cake to me at least for this summer's course.

I will hold to my own secrets. But I must say that only a couple of people will know. One, Serene. Two, Sweet pea. Slushie already knows. So those three people will be my little secret keepers cause I care about them and I want them to know.

Promise RIng

My boyfriend gave me a promise Ring. Yesterday when I woke up. He told me that remember the gift I wanted to give you? It belonged to his mom, and he gave it to me. I was so very happy. I must say it was a surprise.. I love him so much.. I can't wait to tell everyone!!!

I LOVE HIM!!!

RAWR!!!kdhkzdhfkdhkafddf

Then we went to dinner with his parents, had a great time!

My Taking of Photos

Yeah I can take pretty good photos. I have been happy with what I have achieved so far. But I know I can do more and be better.

Or fail.

But whatever, see my work on Deviant Art :)

I am so bored, I want to do something productive..

That is the life of an ACTORTECHIE (:

I cried today..

I cried so hard that I got a headache, I don't want to share why I cried or what caused it. I know what caused it and I don't want to go down memory lane of the this day again.

Repressing is bad but I rather be happy or try to get happy then cry again and again and again. I know it is not the end of the world and life will go on, even without me.

But maybe the without me is what I am afraid of.. I wish the world would stop, I wish it was all Full moon, stars and Night sky... But it's not. It's harsh day light too.

UGHHHHH!!!!

I just wish I could cry hard and get it out of my system but it is there and I hurt and I can't stand it... I really am leaning toward violent means at the moment..which is bad cause I don't want violence.... I JUST WANT A RELEASE!!!

Got my new camera!!

Oh my god.. I love my new camera. Only one problem, I think I got jipped.. I will try to fix the problem sunday.. if not.. one of life's many lessons.

My week of Summer

Oh goodness.

I am dming a group for Hunters. I did it on sunday and it was just my brother, Slushie and I. So far, from the raving I am getting from Slushie, it was a great game. I still have to do some reading though and creating. WHich now that I finished a second season of Buffy( which I have recently gotten into for the pure David Boreanaz of it to see his acting like I have in seen in so many Bones episodes then later I actually like some of the characters, mainly Giles). For some reason, I do not like Buffy at all. Nothing against Sarah, just toward her charcater. While sometimes I think she is alright, often enough I do not like what she does.

Now rest on thee, the game I am dming has nothing to do with BUFFY.

It has to do with I feel is how the world of darkness works.

Of course I have all the books..

I will post the rp on my roleplay addict blog as soon as possible.

I found out, I do not have two weeks of summer.. I have one.. One week of nothing to do but what I want lazybeach sun fun thingy out in the world without a care time. Ugh....

On other news, two more days and then my camera will be here ^^ (supposed arrival : May 7th)

I have been waiting a very long time.

School is done!

Well, not completely. I need to find out my grades.

My two weeks of summer already begun. You guys are probably wondering; what? Two weeks? ONLY?!

Yes, I do have only two weeks. I am a busy little bee, I signed up for classes.

Let me check to see if my grades are posted...

(checked my Boyfriends grades)

He has a B(Theatre Appreciation) and C (Speech).


OHMYGOD!!!!

Okay I am super happy. Saw my grades..
It goes Like this...

Originally I was going to have a C for Math for liberal arts, But even though I can pass the class with a C. I took the final...
I guess I did well on the final because my C was bumped up to a WHOPPING B. I am so happy.

Now... I have a B for speech.

Now, for my Theatre Appreciation class. That I was worried I might get a C on. I got...

an...

A!

For my Theatre Costuming I got an A

My Playwriting Class 1/2 , I also got an A

Now, I know such great news. My Term GPA is a 3.60 But one thing confuses me, it says my cumulative gpa is a 3.50.. which is weird.. I look at my new unofficial transcript and it says instead of where the 3.50 is it says 3.53

and then under all that.. it says 3.61 ??

But I use to be 3.62....

well whatever.. I guesscause last time I got 4 a's and one c and this time I got 3 a's and two b's... Sheesh.

ANYWAYS, my daddy ordered my camera!!! I should be getting it next week.

Perfectly happy

We can never be Perfectly Happy. No matter how we try to convince ourselves. There is always something better. That is why there are cheaters in the world. That is why there are con men. Basically that is why Greed Exists.
WE WANT BETTER!
But better doesn't exist, we can never be satiated with what we know to be better. Because when we have better, we want better than that. So where does it all end?

I say it never will.

Technology, homes, significant others...

We all look for what we can get the most out of, and to think about it. I mean, really think about it. What do we truly deserve?

I know that there are a lot of poor people who deserve more than they have. I know that there are a lot of rich people that shouldn't have what they do. I also know a few people who need a baseball bat to the face, that includes some celebrities.

I also know I don't deserve a whole lot.

I try to be kind to people, and even when they walk over me. I still try to be kind. I still reach out my hand to help out someone.

I believe it is in a desire to feel better that I did a good deed. Otherwise, like some people would probably think.. What is the point of being kind?

Well I know, why.... I want to be better than I am.

I think that is one of the betters I really try to get.. and it's true. I can never satiate myself with how better I can be. Because I always want more.

Sorry this turned out to be either philosophical or something to the nature of finding myself or being whatever this is.

Just thinking... Which I think I lost the train of thought.

Or maybe I am subconsciously stopping myself..

I want to RP so bad

I really want to roleplay. Especially with one of my friends from Pennsylvania. She and I have known each other for a long time. I was in middle school, she was younger than me.


Going ICHAT DIVING FOR PIECE OF THAT ROLEPLAY I WANT TO CONTINUE >D


MUHAHWHWHAHA

Gosh

Okay, Sorry about the lack of typing recently. In play MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING.
Though I would get to write in here but not as much time as I would have hoped.. Also no camera yet :(

This has been an update brought to you by me .... now sleep.

100% silk

Yes, I am in the works of trying to make my dad his pirate costume. Meaning, I will make it for him. Not me.

I would make myself something.

In fact, I bought silk material. It was on sale so I got one yard. . .

I wish I could be as good as Selene at sewing but she totally beats me at that> I don't mind, I just wish that I can do something great with my hands.. Like everyone around me can create with theirs. However I can't.

My dad is an artist (painter) , my grandmother was a seamstress and an artist(another painter).

Creativity is in my blood.
Isn't it?

(All I do is act and write... but even that I lack skills in.)

At first I was going to talk about how great life is.

But now I see how mediocre I am.

It sucks.

Opening Night

Is tonight. I am very nervous but the faster this gets done the faster I can get everything else in my life done.

Yeah I haven't been doing well in my tests. My speech ( the midterm) , theatre appreciation( the first test) , and my math class( text number 2). Were all really bad grades(speech not sure but I am willing to place a bet on that).

So I hope to get study time in for things..I need to get my act together.

On the other hand, This is only the beginning of destruction.

Did I step on you?

I want to vent.

Heavily, while I am getting a back massage. But I have no time, so chiropractor will be on friday before class. Which sucks cause I will have lots of stress anyways on friday. I don't know what I will do. I need someone to help me out. Well Slushie does, but he is like. Don't let the bitch bother you. and I am like I wish I had the force so I can turn sith choke her to death and then go back to being a good jedi.

Cannot wait till my birthday

Okay, I wrote the short story in my deviant account.


But let me tell you, I have been wanting a camera for a very long time. Some of those that know me may be wondering, 'A camera? you have one, and you got your iphone 3gs. what else do you need or want?'

I may not need, but I do want and have been wanting since I have been in high school. A professional camera.
It's very costly, but I love it.


I had a choice between a canon, renowned for it's cameras, at a price for $899+. OR . A fujifilm fine pix HS10, that didn't look good in the article, at a price for $300-500+ .


I picked the fujifilm. At first to be perfectly honest, I wanted to get the canon because the article made it look good and I know that canon is a good company and brand.

BUT when I went to fujifilm's website because my brother told me fujifilm is good too. I SAW that the article gave it no justice. The specs were listed, but when you are talking to someone who is not affluent in photographer jargon. It gets confusing for someone who is not in the art of taking pictures.

I know I will talk to Selene to see if I can take pictures of her, because she is really beautiful. Of course she must dress up :)
And then of course, Slushie and I. (although he is self conscious and says that he is fat he will take pictures with me anyways).

However, my main thing I will do is to take Night shots for my dad. He loves those kinds of pictures You know the slow shutter speed kind where the lights of cars a blurs. It's amazing. I really want to do that for him. I might have to get a tripod for that. Maybe.


All that I know is that I badly want one. Why? because I have wanted one for so long that I really am getting impatient (although I still have patience) and anxious to have that camera in my hands. Hopefully by my birthday the price might get cheaper if not.. it is still a hell of a lot cheaper than the canon.

I want the world.

Drama Behind the Curtains.

Okay, I believe that I am a reasonably kind person and although I treat people with respect. There is only so much respect that I can give to those who believe that they deserve it when they don't give it. I am just talking about my job as stage manager. I believe I do a great job. I am sweet, kind and caring. I do my job, my actors do theirs.


One actor thought that they should also do my job.

Part of my job description is take line notes, write down blocking and make sure to do the rehearsal report and turn it in.
That actor thought they should take line notes. . . For me.

Let me tell you, this actor has a personal vendetta against me because I already chose the gift for the director(a tradition and the stage manager's duty). Now, forget what I got. Just they wanted to be in the know.
I do not have cliques nor am I in any cliques. The Gift was chosen because I was there and so was my asm and another one of my actors.

I don't care for drama even though I am involved in Theatre. You may think, how is this possible?

I love theatre.

I JUST HATE DRAMATIC PEOPLE!

Look if an Actor goes diva, it is often another person's job to bring them down to earth.

A stage manager is the second in command. (director is first) then comes asm and then the crew and then the actors. Actors have no power over crew. Why? Stage manager has power over everyone except the director. Director owns everyone. But there is no way an actor has more power than the stage manager. Nor should the actor nitpick the SM.

This person has a real problem... Me. So I am just going to do my job and hope that this person just bucks up and learns I can do this and they need to apologize. ( cause I tried to, that person wouldn't listen)


And if that person ever threatens to leave again, I will tell the director and we will handle it.

Trying to own up to Resolution

Ugh.. work keeps me busy. It is difficult to maintain such a schedule for too long. I need to memorize a monologue before january 12. ... ANd it is january 9.

I have homework to do.

I feel like a big mess. but I keep everything tied up in my strong hold.zzzzzzz

I know boring right?

My mate Slushie.. he is complaining about how school and work are conflicting... gets rather tedious when I hear someone who is talking like THAT when I am facing the same shit.
it is not a question about my love.. it is more of a question- can you please shut the eff up so I can help you?


I don't know what he thought I was doing... I am not really venting I am just trying to talk about something and that is one of the prominent things on my mind. . . I have already started on our journals.. He will get a good grade.. he doesn't have to complain.

How Time Flies

It's strange, but time flew for Christmas break. Not that I was having too much fun. In fact all I did was clean my room. Although, I am still in the process of organizing everything and finishing my cleaning. I still think it went quicker than expected. I got sick and I am very sorry for not being able to uphold my blog during that time. But nothing interesting happens during the holidays to me.

Now I must say I am back to my busy ways. Which gives more excitement but less time to blog. However, as a newfound new year resolution I will try to update my blog. Usually I type in brief notes in my on the go blog. But I never write too much n their. It is like a second twitter account.

Darlings, I must go to be now. Need to wake up early, I feel oh so nice. I can't exactly pinpoint my feelings at the moment but it's like being rich, happy and just oh so good.

I know I have weird descriptions but it is 1:29 am.. Give a tired girly a break


Toodles